Know what and who you stand for

Thank you deeply for being open to rewilding, for being willing to be the YOUest version of you - because let me tell you - the world needs more of you and your magic and more powerful women just like you.

In this third chapter of The Rewilded Woman it would be easy to jump to purpose, (and don’t worry we WILL get there), but first I want to talk about values. I’m not sure I love this world because it sounds rather businessy and finite so think of values as knowing what and who you stand for, the stuff that you really can’t compromise on without feeling like a part of your soul just died. Values feed our soul, they keep us rewilded and in line with what’s important for us, not society, not the patriarchy and not all the other people who have an opinion about how women should live and be.

Our values and what we stand for are essentially at the heart of our identity, they are what drives us, inspires us, they make us leap out of bed in the morning ready to go, and they are what guide us in the vast and complex decision making matrix of our lives.

The wonderful thing about having crystal clear values is that when we know what we stand for, how we truly desire to live and love in this one wild and precious life, then we no longer have to spend energy on the things, people and experiences that aren’t for us. Clear values means we don’t feel bad or apologetic for saying no, and this enables us to let go of the people pleasing programming foisted upon so many of us. Values support us being in our chosen identity rather than the identities given to us, (check out chapter two of The Rewilded Woman for more on identity).

If you’ve ever done any kind of ‘values exercise’, whether in business or for your personal wellbeing, you’ve probably ended up with five or six values. They can be kind of hard to remember sometimes, especially in the heat of the moment when you’re faced with a decision and you want to be guided by them. I like to follow Brene Brown’s approach of having a maximum of two values. Think of  these two values as representing the absolute essence of who you choose to be in this lifetime, AND the values from which everything that’s important to you stem from. Let me give you an example.

My business values are authenticity, integrity, inclusion, generosity and nature. I love all of these and I also challenged myself to condense these five values down to two. I’ve chosen integrity and connection as my two life-guiding values and here’s why. Integrity is something I feel in my body, it’s me being my authentic self and so as long as I’m tuned into how I am feeling then it’s easy to stay aligned. Not being in my integrity feels like resistance and hesitation, and it feels like screaming ‘no’ inside my mind even when I’m tempted to say yes. Whereas being in my integrity feels expansive, enlivening, free, inclusive and generous.

Even though connection isn’t a value I listed for my business it feels like the driving force behind how I live and the work I do - connection to my breath, to my body, to the planet, to other women, supporting women to reconnect with their innate feminine wisdom, their power and their most wild and wonderful selves - you get the idea. So if I’m looking for guidance, if I have to make a decision, I just ask myself, do I feel in my integrity doing this and does it strengthen my connection with people and the planet? If you’re looking to increase clarity on your values then here’s a beautiful resource from the amazing Brene Brown that will get you started.

Spending time this season tuning into your most important values is like peeling back the layers of learned systems and habits and re-becoming yourself. It’s a powerful thing when we as women know who and what we stand for, because we no longer possess the energy or the tolerance to keep saying yes to the things that are not for us.

Sit on your meditation cushion, or go for a run, or take your cup of tea onto the balcony, or go walk the dog, or enjoy a moment alone in a cafe and tune into what guides you and supports you to be yourself. And then if you’re up for it, hit reply and let me know what values are guiding and supporting your identity as this year begins to draw to a close. Because purpose becomes easy when we know who we are and what we stand for.

Sending you much love and looking forward to seeing you for the next installment of The Rewilded Woman.

Purpose reveals itself when identity is clear

Welcome back to The Rewilded Woman and chapter two. I’m so very glad you’re here. Today as we continue rewilding together I want to talk about identity because some of the concepts I’m going to share with you feel really revelational to me even at the age of 53 years old.

Like me, you may have been brought up on the mantra ‘find your purpose’ or even read Simon Sinek’s book, Find Your Why. Full disclosure - I tried reading that book but felt too much pressure so didn’t get much past the introduction - apparently it’s a great book. It’s also a book that’s written by a man. I’ve delved deep into the yoga wisdom of dharma or life’s purpose and I even hosted a retreat called ‘Find Your Dharma’ in gorgeous Greece.

Here’s my latest hot take on purpose which builds on chapter one of The Rewilded Woman, where I wrote about remembering where we come from. When we know who we really are, we can then choose who we want to be and actively decide our own identity. This might sound obvious but hear me out.

Think of ALL the expectations (spoken and unspoken), we as women have upon us. To be mothers, to be wives, to be straight, to find a (usually male) partner, to look after the household, to be feminine, to be quiet, to be nice, to work, to put family first, to be strong, to hold it all together, to parent perfectly, to be well. The list is essentially endless. With those layers and layers of identity given to us by generations of patriarchal systems it is no surprise that women often reach a point where we feel like our identity has been chosen for us. It’s also why any human who knows deeply that their true identity doesn’t meet their society’s, culture’s or family’s values or expectations feels the pain of living in a world that isn’t aligned with the essence of who they are. Our brains find it very very difficult to know ourselves and then continue pretending to be someone else.

Fortunately we have the ability to control our mind, or at least our thoughts and yes it does take practice. When I intentionally choose my identity, based on knowing myself deeply, knowing my dreams deeply, then the default mode network in my brain or DMN, (sometimes called the ‘internal mind’), channels my resting thoughts in support of this identity. If I am not clear about who I am then when I’m daydreaming or reflecting or meditating the DMN in my brain will by default rest on the current version of me. If the current version of you is exactly who you plan to be and do for the rest of your life then that’s great. But if you’re a woman who has been told who to be for half her life and you have no other identity than the one you were given, then your brain will continue to focus on you being that version of yourself.

When we aren’t clear on who we are, or when we are living life as a version of ourselves that everyone else wants, our brain can’t filter for what we are choosing because we haven’t given our DMN any direction or orders. Think of choosing your identity as giving your brain new sign posts to follow and an open highway to drive down. As your DMN spends more time directing its attention to the person you’re choosing to be, it starts helping you see more signs and opportunities that are aligned with the identity of your choosing, which in turn inspires and motivates you and becomes a beautiful upward spiral of your desires.

So the BIG question to ask ourselves - and rest assured I’m asking this of myself too - is if I look back at my life who do I want to have been? What version of myself will make me proud of the life I have lived? And the question is NOT what have I achieved, what job have I done, who have I pleased? And I say this because I believe these are the masculinized questions we are programmed to believe define a life well lived.

Have a think dear, do some journaling, project yourself into the future and imagine looking back at the person you have been, the life you have lived. This is the beginning of living an aligned life, of knowing yourself deeply, of choosing your own identity. And with that comes purpose - but more on that in chapter three!

For now go be unapologetically you and I’ll see you back here very soon for another installment of The Rewilded Woman.

Remembering where we come from

Welcome to The Rewilded Woman and thank you for being part of this incredible tribe of powerful goddesses changing lives and the world.

The Rewilded Woman is a series of stories to help us see clearly and unravel the learned patriarchal patterns and masculinized ways of our world today. Even more importantly, these chapters, written deep from my soul, are created to support you and all women everywhere to embrace being unapologetically you. To do that though we have to know ourselves, know our truth and know how and what we stand for in this one wild and precious life. And it is a hard slog some days to keep remembering who the F we are in a world designed for men.

So welcome to chapter one - remembering where we come from.

I’m not a fan of blaming our past or using our childhood as a crux for all the challenges we face in our reality today. But I do think it’s important to see where we come from clearly, to acknowledge all that we received from our ancestors and from our past, to thank it, to consciously decide what we take with us and to get clear on what we are leaving behind.

Most importantly when we are rewilding ourselves, is to become the most ‘us’ we can be. And it is hard to be the truest version of you if you are walking around full of other people’s patterns, histories and crap.

Take time for yourself this week if you can to look into your past. Please do this in a way that feels safe for you. You can meditate or write or speak your thoughts out loud or go running or dance it out - use the space and practice that supports you best to let your mind run free.

Think about your childhood and the people who raised you. What are the things, practices, ways of being and beliefs you received that feel like they make you who you are today in the best way possible? Even if the experiences were hard when you were younger, is there something good that you take from them today? For example I was raised by parents with wanderlust who loved to travel around the country and move house all the time. While on the surface this may appear totally destabilizing for a child, what it gave me was unshakeable confidence to step into new situations. Make your list of all the good stuff your past and your ancestors have given you and take time to thank the people and experiences that made you who you are today.

We also receive things that are not ours, and let’s be honest, so much of what we receive is based on patterns and systems designed to keep women small. It’s therefore vital in the process of rewilding to identify these and to unravel them so that we can re-become ourselves.

Often the way we can identify these patterns and systems is by how we feel in our bodies and with the emotions / emotional patterns we experience on repeat. The feelings (both mental and physical), that are associated with things that do not belong to us may include shame, disappointment, a need to people please, a sense of abandoning ourselves, compromising our integrity, feeling belittled, a need to physically shrink ourselves, like we have been chastised, feeling frozen or speechless, wanting to run away from or be defensive towards certain types of people or experiences - to name just a few. It’s so important to know that when you feel these things it’s ok - it’s all part of the hot mess of humanness. As you rewild you get to decide what you keep and what you say goodbye to.

Bringing awareness to what our past gives us is a beautiful opportunity to take back agency and decide who we are today and tomorrow. Take time to sort through what you received from your childhood, from your ancestors, from your past experiences and make a list of anything that feels like 1) you received it from someone else and would happily return it back to its rightful owner, 2) anything that feels outdated and like it’s hindering the life you truly want to live and 3) anything that makes you feel stuck and not like yourself.

Common patriarchal patterns to be aware of include:

• People pleasing

• Good girl tendencies

• Perfectionism

• Choosing other people’s happiness and wellbeing over your own

• Self sacrificing

• Regularly prioritizing work over other life goals

• Avoiding stillness and silence because it feels ‘lazy’

• Wearing busy-ness like a badge of honour

• Saviour mentality

• Believing only you can be the one to ‘do the thing’

• Not feeling seen, heard or appreciated

• Questioning yourself relentlessly when you dream big

Once you’ve done this, create a ritual for yourself to hand back or release all that is not yours. It can be anything from burning your list, to visualizing returning what doesn't belong to you to its rightful owner, to a cord cutting meditation or a h’oponopono forgiveness ceremony - whatever resonates with you. And just know that this is potentially life long work that we can put on repeat, because let’s face it, hundreds of years of learned patriarchy doesn’t get deleted in one fire ceremony. But staring the patriarchy (and other unhelpful patterns), in the face, naming it and saying ‘no more!’ helps us take our power back and our agency.

One of my favourite sayings these days is ‘the dream only works if you work’, (it’s not mine, I took it from the amazing Em on the Brain), so think of this as part of the beautiful work you are doing rewilding yourself and living life unapologetically.

Because when we feel deep gratitude for all that we have received and we give back or let go of all that is not our own, the energy and freedom we then have to be ourselves is multiplied ten-fold - and I so want that for you.

Hit reply to let me know how you get on or if you have any questions - I’m here for you and here for it all dear one. The more we as women rewild, the more balance, equity and justice we bring to our world, creating a future where all women live unapologetically always.

Donna x

Light your own way (you deserve more than waiting)

It’s May in the city. I’ve come down the mountain because I got fed up with the fog and not being able to see anything. As I write, not only is it mid-week but we’ve just passed Beltaine which is the midpoint between the Spring equinox and the Summer solstice and a glorious Celtic festival celebrated on the 1st May. Similar to what many of us know as Halloween, Beltaine is thought to be a time when the veil between earthside and other is thin, a liminal space. However, rather than focusing on the spirits of the dead, Beltaine celebrates the fae (fairies) and other nature spirits, who are believed to be particularly active during this time. It’s tradition to leave offerings of food, flowers, or milk for these spirits to ensure their favour and protection. GIven I’ve always believed in magic, miracles and possibilities, it feels like my kind of festival.

This and a full moon with us this coming Monday 12 May, it’s a potent time! This month’s Flower Moon, which is also a super moon, is thought to bring stability, wellness and job satisfaction as well as abundant changes to life. If 2025 already feels like it’s passing you by, ancient festivals, rituals and moon moments are the perfect excuse to slow down and reflect. We can use this time to take action, to light our own path, to ignite our own inner flame.

I spent too many years waiting to be chosen, waiting for the right job, the best moment, waiting for some unguaranteed time in the future to do all the things and to enjoy the light, to know with surety my path. And that ‘waiting’ comes with a weird kind of energy that also says ‘not now’ to all the things we’re hoping for and dreaming of.

The ancient yogic text, the Bhagavad Gita teaches is to take action for action sake, to not seek the results or rewards from our doing but to find bliss within action itself. It’s advice I come back to over and over again when I’m in a funk or I’m waiting or I’m in between. Take action and just keep going and watch the magic of your life unravel before you.

These four practices ALWAYS make me feel like today is my day. So if you’re looking for some of that get moving, dancing and breathing and I promise you today is indeed your day.

Practices for igniting your inner flame

I often find May a little bit like an end of winter hangover (think summer hangover if you’re on the other side of the world). This is the month where it’s impossible to even know what to wear when you get up in the morning. You’ve put your snuggly winter coat and boats away but you’re bikini’s still sitting on the shelf waiting to be chosen. It’s easy to feel dull and heavy in this month of in between seasons even when you have good weather. Here’s some of my favourite practices to ignite your inner flame and keep the vibes high.

Wake up and dance to your favourite song - I even made you a play list so you don’t get lost on Spotify choosing your music  just press play and dance! No special sequences, just you and the music moving in whatever way you choose. Involve kids, partners and fur babies for even more silliness and high vibes.

Try some Kundalini breath work to get you going. I love spinal twists on repeat, breathing in through the nose left side, exhaling right side to create space and balance. Here’s an energizing 15 minute class with three of my favourite practices. Be mindful if you’re feeling overheated physically or mentally to practice more slowly than in the video so that you keep cool (whilst igniting obvs!)

Get outside as soon as you can even if that just means watering your plants on your balcony, or taking a lap around your neighbourhood. Being outside and knowing what Mother Nature is up to before we start work, school or appointments, puts us in a state of awe and wonder before the day even starts. Make this a regular practice and you’ll find yourself feeling like you’re pouring from a full cup all day long.

If you want some yoga to light you up and get that inner flame going try holding each of the Warrior poses (virabrahdrasana I, II and III) for 5 -10 breaths, then practice a few high and low boat poses (navasana), take a seated twist and then relax in a blissful savasana. That’s a 5 minute practice right there so put it on repeat whenever you need a boost.