Thank you deeply for being open to rewilding, for being willing to be the YOUest version of you - because let me tell you - the world needs more of you and your magic and more powerful women just like you.
In this third chapter of The Rewilded Woman it would be easy to jump to purpose, (and don’t worry we WILL get there), but first I want to talk about values. I’m not sure I love this world because it sounds rather businessy and finite so think of values as knowing what and who you stand for, the stuff that you really can’t compromise on without feeling like a part of your soul just died. Values feed our soul, they keep us rewilded and in line with what’s important for us, not society, not the patriarchy and not all the other people who have an opinion about how women should live and be.
Our values and what we stand for are essentially at the heart of our identity, they are what drives us, inspires us, they make us leap out of bed in the morning ready to go, and they are what guide us in the vast and complex decision making matrix of our lives.
The wonderful thing about having crystal clear values is that when we know what we stand for, how we truly desire to live and love in this one wild and precious life, then we no longer have to spend energy on the things, people and experiences that aren’t for us. Clear values means we don’t feel bad or apologetic for saying no, and this enables us to let go of the people pleasing programming foisted upon so many of us. Values support us being in our chosen identity rather than the identities given to us, (check out chapter two of The Rewilded Woman for more on identity).
If you’ve ever done any kind of ‘values exercise’, whether in business or for your personal wellbeing, you’ve probably ended up with five or six values. They can be kind of hard to remember sometimes, especially in the heat of the moment when you’re faced with a decision and you want to be guided by them. I like to follow Brene Brown’s approach of having a maximum of two values. Think of these two values as representing the absolute essence of who you choose to be in this lifetime, AND the values from which everything that’s important to you stem from. Let me give you an example.
My business values are authenticity, integrity, inclusion, generosity and nature. I love all of these and I also challenged myself to condense these five values down to two. I’ve chosen integrity and connection as my two life-guiding values and here’s why. Integrity is something I feel in my body, it’s me being my authentic self and so as long as I’m tuned into how I am feeling then it’s easy to stay aligned. Not being in my integrity feels like resistance and hesitation, and it feels like screaming ‘no’ inside my mind even when I’m tempted to say yes. Whereas being in my integrity feels expansive, enlivening, free, inclusive and generous.
Even though connection isn’t a value I listed for my business it feels like the driving force behind how I live and the work I do - connection to my breath, to my body, to the planet, to other women, supporting women to reconnect with their innate feminine wisdom, their power and their most wild and wonderful selves - you get the idea. So if I’m looking for guidance, if I have to make a decision, I just ask myself, do I feel in my integrity doing this and does it strengthen my connection with people and the planet? If you’re looking to increase clarity on your values then here’s a beautiful resource from the amazing Brene Brown that will get you started.
Spending time this season tuning into your most important values is like peeling back the layers of learned systems and habits and re-becoming yourself. It’s a powerful thing when we as women know who and what we stand for, because we no longer possess the energy or the tolerance to keep saying yes to the things that are not for us.
Sit on your meditation cushion, or go for a run, or take your cup of tea onto the balcony, or go walk the dog, or enjoy a moment alone in a cafe and tune into what guides you and supports you to be yourself. And then if you’re up for it, hit reply and let me know what values are guiding and supporting your identity as this year begins to draw to a close. Because purpose becomes easy when we know who we are and what we stand for.
Sending you much love and looking forward to seeing you for the next installment of The Rewilded Woman.