Welcome to The Rewilded Woman and thank you for being part of this incredible tribe of powerful goddesses changing lives and the world.
The Rewilded Woman is a series of stories to help us see clearly and unravel the learned patriarchal patterns and masculinized ways of our world today. Even more importantly, these chapters, written deep from my soul, are created to support you and all women everywhere to embrace being unapologetically you. To do that though we have to know ourselves, know our truth and know how and what we stand for in this one wild and precious life. And it is a hard slog some days to keep remembering who the F we are in a world designed for men.
So welcome to chapter one - remembering where we come from.
I’m not a fan of blaming our past or using our childhood as a crux for all the challenges we face in our reality today. But I do think it’s important to see where we come from clearly, to acknowledge all that we received from our ancestors and from our past, to thank it, to consciously decide what we take with us and to get clear on what we are leaving behind.
Most importantly when we are rewilding ourselves, is to become the most ‘us’ we can be. And it is hard to be the truest version of you if you are walking around full of other people’s patterns, histories and crap.
Take time for yourself this week if you can to look into your past. Please do this in a way that feels safe for you. You can meditate or write or speak your thoughts out loud or go running or dance it out - use the space and practice that supports you best to let your mind run free.
Think about your childhood and the people who raised you. What are the things, practices, ways of being and beliefs you received that feel like they make you who you are today in the best way possible? Even if the experiences were hard when you were younger, is there something good that you take from them today? For example I was raised by parents with wanderlust who loved to travel around the country and move house all the time. While on the surface this may appear totally destabilizing for a child, what it gave me was unshakeable confidence to step into new situations. Make your list of all the good stuff your past and your ancestors have given you and take time to thank the people and experiences that made you who you are today.
We also receive things that are not ours, and let’s be honest, so much of what we receive is based on patterns and systems designed to keep women small. It’s therefore vital in the process of rewilding to identify these and to unravel them so that we can re-become ourselves.
Often the way we can identify these patterns and systems is by how we feel in our bodies and with the emotions / emotional patterns we experience on repeat. The feelings (both mental and physical), that are associated with things that do not belong to us may include shame, disappointment, a need to people please, a sense of abandoning ourselves, compromising our integrity, feeling belittled, a need to physically shrink ourselves, like we have been chastised, feeling frozen or speechless, wanting to run away from or be defensive towards certain types of people or experiences - to name just a few. It’s so important to know that when you feel these things it’s ok - it’s all part of the hot mess of humanness. As you rewild you get to decide what you keep and what you say goodbye to.
Bringing awareness to what our past gives us is a beautiful opportunity to take back agency and decide who we are today and tomorrow. Take time to sort through what you received from your childhood, from your ancestors, from your past experiences and make a list of anything that feels like 1) you received it from someone else and would happily return it back to its rightful owner, 2) anything that feels outdated and like it’s hindering the life you truly want to live and 3) anything that makes you feel stuck and not like yourself.
Common patriarchal patterns to be aware of include:
People pleasing
Good girl tendencies
Perfectionism
Choosing other people’s happiness and wellbeing over your own
Self sacrificing
Regularly prioritizing work over other life goals
Avoiding stillness and silence because it feels ‘lazy’
Wearing busy-ness like a badge of honour
Saviour mentality
Believing only you can be the one to ‘do the thing’
Not feeling seen, heard or appreciated
Questioning yourself relentlessly when you dream big
Once you’ve done this, create a ritual for yourself to hand back or release all that is not yours. It can be anything from burning your list, to visualizing returning what doesn't belong to you to its rightful owner, to a cord cutting meditation or a h’oponopono forgiveness ceremony - whatever resonates with you. And just know that this is potentially life long work that we can put on repeat, because let’s face it, hundreds of years of learned patriarchy doesn’t get deleted in one fire ceremony. But staring the patriarchy (and other unhelpful patterns), in the face, naming it and saying ‘no more!’ helps us take our power back and our agency.
One of my favourite sayings these days is ‘the dream only works if you work’, (it’s not mine, I took it from the amazing Em on the Brain), so think of this as part of the beautiful work you are doing rewilding yourself and living life unapologetically.
Because when we feel deep gratitude for all that we have received and we give back or let go of all that is not our own, the energy and freedom we then have to be ourselves is multiplied ten-fold - and I so want that for you.
Hit reply to let me know how you get on or if you have any questions - I’m here for you and here for it all dear one. The more we as women rewild, the more balance, equity and justice we bring to our world, creating a future where all women live unapologetically always.
Donna x