One of the greatest disservices to our innate feminine nature is the widely held view that certain ways of being, certain traits, certain actions are either masculine or feminine. This is essentially a patriarchal license to label women as the ‘weaker sex’, a phrase that gives permission to men to take advantage of and abuse women in a myriad of ways. Women experiencing perimenopause? Labelled as female hysteria by the male medical profession and resulted in thousands of women being sent to psychiatric units for the rest of their lives. Women as victims and survivors of sexual and gender-based violence? Still today the statistics tell us how many women were raped not how many men are rapists. The characterization of men as ‘breadwinners’ continues to perpetuate economic hardship for millions of women, and is why women globally earn an average of 30 per cent less than men even when they are employed in the same job.
Dear one, you hold a myriad of qualities and characteristics within your innately feminine being and you can label them however you want or not at all. Part of the process of rewilding ourselves as women is to become aware of what belongs to us and what doesn’t (see The Rewilded Woman story #1), and reclaim what oppressive systems and forced learning have denied us.
Earlier this week in The Rewilded Woman I explored the role that embodying our truest selves plays in helping us live unapologetically in our day to day lives. Part of practicing being the most rewilded version of you is also about taking action - yes action - a word that is often viewed as a falsely labelled ‘masculine’, a word associated with ‘male’ characteristics such as assertiveness, conquering, determination, strength, power, stamina, achievement, performance, initiative - you get the idea.
So today I give you “The Rewilded Woman Permission Slip” to take whatever kind of action feels like it’s all you, and to reclaim any action that you’ve shied away from due to its masculine labelling.
All those times you’ve been quiet, or held your words in so as ‘not to make a fuss’ and then felt like you’d silenced yourself. Your action is your voice, make it clear and loud and unapologetically you.
All those times you said yes to staying late or to tasks not in your job description or to organizing Secret Santa when you hate Christmas. Your action is using the word ‘no’, with no explanation and no apology - because as we are beginning to relearn - no is a complete sentence.
All those times you are the one doing EVERYTHING, the school lunches, the family calendar, the dog walks, the friends’ dinners, the cleaning, the holiday research, the bill paying. Your action is delegating and receiving support. If this resonates with you, trying say ‘no’ as an added bonus 😀
Thinking our way into being unapologetically ourselves only goes so far. In fact if our actions don’t align with our desires then I believe that’s an important sign we are living out of alignment, out of our integrity. It’s why saying yes when we mean no, has us feeling disappointed in ourselves and pressured by the world.
What action do you not take because you fear being seen as unfeminine? And what ways do you stop being yourself because you’ve been trained and / or socialized to believe that this would be too masculine? Take a deep dive into the seven feminine archetypes - the Huntress, the Queen, the Maiden and more - and reclaim action as your divine feminine right. Reclaim power, strength, freedom, anger, outrage, leadership, assertiveness, intelligence, decisiveness and more as part of your innately feminist soul. Let your actions match your clarity, let your actions bring your values to life, let action be the embodiment of your most rewilded, unapologetic self. That’s the YOU the world needs more of. I’ll see you soon for more of The Rewilded Woman and to make sure your December has you feeling powerful, alive and fiercely feminine.